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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Ten Worst Premiership Players*

1. Darius Henderson (Watford)
2. Gavin Mahon (Watford)
3. Nicky Shorey (Reading)
4. Phil Neville (Everton)
5. Nicky Hunt (Bolton)
6. El-Hadji Diouf (Bolton)
7. Tommy Smith (Watford)
8. David Bentley (Blackburn)
9. Paul Robinson (Tottenham)
10. Kevin Davies (Bolton)

*Where 10 = crappest. According to Dr Ian Graham and Dr Henry Stott's Poisson log-normal statistical model (minimum of 400 minutes play to qualify)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Ten TV Shows Currently Showing In The UK That Lord Reith Would Never Have Okayed

1. Dancing On Ice: Defrosted
2. Help! My Dog's As Fat As Me
3. Sex In Court
4. The Bull**** Detective
5. My Big Breasts And Me
6. F*** Off, I'm A Hairy Woman
7. Booze Bird: Mishief
8. Penn & Teller: B*******!
9. Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Chicken
10. Half Ton Hospital With Jeremy Kyle