1. Learn to speak in a comedy local accent 2. Be a bit more pally with his players 3. eg call them 'JT' and 'Stevie G' 4. Prove he can do beautiful football by winning the league in Holland 5. Then have a go at the bundesliga 6. Work with Sir Alex Ferguson for a bit 7. Show his commitment to attacking football by playing five strikers at once 8. Reinstate the captain he symbollically dropped 9. Pose with an umbrella on the sidelines 10. Change his name to something Anglo Saxon like, um, 'McLaren'