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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Ten Staff Recommendation Notes At The Local Waterstones That Begin With 'This Book Made Me Feel…'


1. …Jealous! I wish I had just half the genius of Michelangelo!

2. …That what happens in Degas stays in Degas

3. …Totally ashamed that one could enjoy so much bloody violence

4. …Do you like jelly? If your answer is yes, this book is for you!

5. …Jealous that I don't turn into a beautiful butterfly when I eat too many pies!

6. …I don't know whether this book is offensive or not

7. …Glad I don't have hairy hands

8. …Like I need more pockets!

9. …It may well have your eye out.

10. …Mostly sanitary but not always

Monday, August 09, 2010

Ten Things In The Smallprint of The iTunes Software License I Just Agreed To Without Reading First


1. THE APPLE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.
2. You agree that Apple and its subsidiaries may collect and use technical and related information, including but not limited to technical information about your computer
3. Apple and its licensors reserve the right to change, suspend, remove, or disable access to any Services at any time without notice.
4. Upon the termination of this License, you shall cease all use of the Apple Software and destroy all copies, full or partial, of the Apple Software.
5. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON HOW LONG AN IMPLIED WARRANTY LASTS, SO THE ABOVE LIMITATION MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
6. YOU EXPRESSLY ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT …THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO SATISFACTORY QUALITY, PERFORMANCE, ACCURACY AND EFFORT IS WITH YOU.
7. THE APPLE SOFTWARE AND SERVICES ARE PROVIDED "AS IS", WITH ALL FAULTS AND WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND.
8. APPLE DOES NOT WARRANT AGAINST INTERFERENCE WITH YOUR ENJOYMENT OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE OR SERVICES.
9. TO THE EXTENT NOT PROHIBITED BY LAW, IN NO EVENT SHALL APPLE BE LIABLE FOR PERSONAL INJURY, OR ANY INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES WHATSOEVER, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, LOSS OF DATA, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES OR LOSSES, ARISING OUT OF OR RELATED TO YOUR USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE APPLE SOFTWARE OR SERVICES, HOWEVER CAUSED, REGARDLESS OF THE THEORY OF LIABILITY.
10. You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Ten Sections They Did Have In The Bookshop Even Though There Was None For Philosophy


1. Paul McKenna
2. Alan Carr
3. Football Biographies
4. Safe Driving For Life
5. Life in the UK
6. Self Development
7. Etiquette
8. Angels/Fairies
9. Dark Fantasy
10. A-Z by Author or Criminal

Monday, August 02, 2010

Ten Things That Never Get Their Own 'Greatest Of All Time' Top Ten Lists (Unlike, Say, Records, Cities or Men)


1. Brooms
2. Hammers
3. Winds
4. Opinions
5. Children
6. Types of Tomato
7. Cottages
8. Streams
9. Crosswords
10. Fingers